We sat around the burning flames, the smoke stinging our eyes. The tall green trees leaned over us, the sun peaking through. The sky was still blue, but the air was cool. Converstaion was light and airy until the conversation of their parents arose. How they think its cute how they’ve caught their parents staring at eachother while eating breakfast in the morning . How excited their father was for valentines day. The green eyed monster arose as I sat in an uncomfortable silnce.
Your eyes paralyze me in the halls
I pass and my eyes stiffen
fixated on the head in front of me
deciding whether to wave or keep walking
quickly I turn and throw my palm up
a simple hello is forced from my mouth
tightening and trembling my vocal cords
your head jerks quickly as you respond
Your confident demeanor hidden by
your uncomfortable body language
Our shyness towards eachother is evident
This room will be empty next year
Its closet bare and dusty
the blankets unwrinkled and clean
Lines of water will fall from moms face
as she drags her hand across the bed
and walks around our vacant house
dad will strum his guitar in solitude
the sound echoing into the foyer
and out the windows to Boston
Where I’ll hear the sad tones
and feel nostalgic for the past
and unsure about the future
all-letters-written asked: This is awesome... How did you start writing?
Thank You! This summer when I first got a tumblr(my personal blog) is when I really started writing for fun. I had gone on a trip to Cuba and felt the need to blog about my experience so I did and realized that I really enjoyed writing. So now I try to write as often as possible (without forcing it) because I want to improve, which I why I created this blog. No one I know personally knows about this blog so I can be as honest as possible on here. I love your blog by the way!
Im starting to cave in
after years of holding back
and pretending i’m okay
because jokes and laughter
start to get old
Last year where’d you go?
I miss your smiles
I miss your comfort
They all seem so distant now
with their own friends
and their own parties
Its those smokey campfires
and late night movies
in my cold dark basement
the blankets were piled
The anxiety at ease
I’m glad you’re over your depression
you were getting me worried
but please help me with mine
Im trapped in an unfamiliar haze
screaming to get out.
Can you reach out to me?
and tell me that I’m all you want
as you softly caress my arm
and warm me with your body
can you save me from my shy demeanor?
and dance with me in the yard
as we sing along to the stereo
that has been collecting dust for years
Sir, can you please find me
i’m here, hiding in my softly lit room
awaiting for you to throw stones
against my small glass window
and take me into the night
to go skinny dipping in the lake
or eat ice cream in your car
Dearest, we have yet to be acquainted
but I can’t wait for our fireside readings
and our daily tea time conversations
I know you may not be ready yet
and our paths have not crossed yet
but when they do, hug me tightly
because I already miss you
For once I thought
the odds were truly in my favor
His glowing blue eyes
and curly blonde hair
would someday become
a sight for my eyes to sparkle
we would listen to folk music
and read about great road trips
and after the sun would set
we could watch the fine stars
flicker in a black sky
as we talk and talk
until the orange glow appeared
but after a twist in fate
all my hope is now gone
our lives will be elswhere
no time for our bond
this teenage desire is crushed
and will ache for some time
but someone to love is out there
and alive on this windy April night
After hearing those guitar strings
echoing through the stairwell
easing the anxiety down my spine
pausing the quiver in my voice
The daunting room appeared to be
just a little more illuminated
and the people seemed to be
just a little more familiar
My feet started taping
against the dusty rubber stairs
and my head swayed slightly
through the clean enriched air
His mellow voice exposed my teeth
as he shouted in a burst of passion
and everything that once seem grey
was just a part of yesterday.
My stomach is crying
and reprimanding me
as I lie in a soft bed
slowly sipping on water
and regretting the nights
of sugared teas and breads
and nostalgic for the days of
tiny blue dresses and
secure poolside swims
I wait now, away from the cabinet
for the desired gap
or defined ribcage to come
and just consume me.
Sometimes you need to just bleed and let your voice shake as you let go of what has been concealed. Because if it stays beneath your chest, it will start to multiply and taunt you in your sleep. It will make you sweat and tear and throw fists in the shower. You will cry silently in the crowds with teeth masked across your face, fake laughter falling from your lips. Just push them all out and lock your chest, so they can never return.
